How to Approach a Bisexual Guy in the Closet: 11 Steps
If you're a gay or bi guy who has been dating for awhile, you've probably found yourself Work this information subtly into your conversations. Flirting comes naturally to many of us. We all have that one friend who can literally charm the pants off of every single guy he talks to. But this. If you're one of the many gay guys out there who need some help with your gay flirting game, we've compiled some of the secrets to "scoring" in.
One thing is certain, body language can give you a lot of hints about his intentions. Keep an eye on how he acts around you. Is he constantly making eye contact? Does he stare and then quickly look away? Does he stare and smile? These are all excellent signs that he is into you!
With a little practice in the 21st century, men who are gay, bisexual, or metro-sexual can be spotted. Most of the time if they are interested in you, they will find a subtle way to let you know.
Sometimes you have to take charge. The trick is knowing who's court the ball is in. Is he gay or straight? How do you tell?
Meet Singles in your Area! Ready to run a new guy through the gaydar test? First try to make eye contact with him. Catch his gaze whenever you can and see how he reacts to it. If he seems odd or funny, back off and give him some space.
If step one produces good results, try this. Brush against him accidently or as you're speaking with him, casually touch is arm or shoulder. See if he tenses up or if he seems okay with it.
Take it slow but if he seems okay with touching, take it a bit farther and become more "touchy" with him. Again, if he recoils, he is either straight or shy. Err on the side of straight.
Want to know the best way to put this to bed? If after a time he is okay with eye contact and an occasional touch See how he responds. If he's cool with it, take it a step farther and ask if he is gay or straight. Don't turn your interaction into a competition between his straightness and your gayness. Even if you agree with all of what is listed above, it would of course be silly to go down every bullet point, explaining yourself at length.
That's why it's better not to explain directly, but rather to let him draw conclusions from your example. To show that you're discreet, never mention any names if you talk about how you've hooked up with straight men before. Emphasize how you value discretion and kept everything that happened to yourself. To show that you're not looking to challenge his identity, tell him that you're not into labels.
Explain how you think sexuality doesn't fit into boxes, and that the things we do during hookups don't have to mean anything. Show that you don't judge him for anything by not acting surprised or bothered when he expresses an unusual opinion or confides a secret desire. Act like it's no big deal. Show that you respect his boundaries by never pushing him into something he doesn't want.
Don't insist that he "try" something that he has no interest in, and don't pester him. Be sensitive to his hesitation and let him lead. Make it clear that you don't see him as a conquest or as a man who you successfully "turned," by treating him as an equal and emphasizing how your interactions are all about fun and being in the moment.
They don't need to mean anything about who he is. Work this information subtly into your conversations. Demonstrate these traits through your behavior. For example, if he notices that you're not a gossip and are not constantly talking about other people's business to him, he will trust you more. Spend time with him, try to build a friendship, and wait. If you have laid this groundwork, and he really does like you in a sexual way, then soon enough the opportunity to act on it will present itself.
Most guys who identify as straight aren't going to want to run off into the gay sunset with you. Keep this in mind. While you're trying to get this straight guy comfortable with you, you might also want to ask yourself a few more questions: What is your goal with this, ultimately? What kind of relationship are you looking for? Do you just want sex, or were you hoping for something more?
How to Get a Straight Guy to Like You: Can You Make a Straight Guy Gay?
This is where things get a little hairier. If you're looking for an actual romantic relationship with a "straight" guy who does not publicly identify as bisexual, then you'll be fighting an uphill battle most of the time. Most romantic relationships fail miserably when they are kept secret. There are too many external pressures. You'll have to hide your affection. He'll have to hide his lover from his friends and family. A person's romantic partner often takes up a big portion of his life, so it's hard to hide this.
Besides that, others are usually curious about their friends' romantic lives. Soon enough, people will start asking questions. Why is he still single? Are you seeing anyone? Why do you spend so much time together? The rumors will fly especially if you are openly gay yourself. He will almost inevitably find himself having to distance himself from you just to quell rumors. This can be very painful. It's like living a lie.
On the other hand, if you just want to have some fun, there's no real harm in it. Some guys have zero romantic interest in other men, but are still attracted to them physically. In other words, he may be eager to hook up with you, but doesn't want to hold hands and pick out china patterns together. Maybe you feel the same. Just because we have a physical relationship with someone doesn't mean that all of a sudden we have to get married or something.
Maybe the two of you could be friends who just happen to hook up every once in awhile. One more consideration that you might want to make is whether you are interested in straight guys specifically because they are straight. Does it actually disappoint you a little to find out he's bi?
Do you get a thrill from "turning" a straight guy gay? Does it turn you off if you know that he's been with guys before or that he is admittedly bisexual? While we all have our kinks, this can become a real problem for you. It basically means that you will only be able to get with unavailable men, and that you will grow bored of them as soon as they are no longer "straight.
If you think that you may be chasing straight guys for these reasons, then I encourage you to do some self-reflection. Is there something that you don't like about yourself? Do you constantly need the validation of being desired by a straight guy? Do you only feel confident in your attractiveness whenever you can "turn a straight man gay"? Think about this carefully. You may not be able to form a genuine bond of friendship with this guy if you feel this way.
You may be unable to view him as anything but a conquest who serves to boost your ego. Finally, let's clarify once and for all: Can you make a straight guy gay? You cannot change someone's orientation.
How to Find Out If a Guy You Like Is Gay (is He Gay or Straight?) | Dating Tips
On the other hand, there are lots of guys who are actually bisexual or bi-curious, but simply identify as straight. If you hook up with a guy like this, you aren't changing his orientation, you're just helping him discover a part of it that he might not have been aware of. It really does come down to semantics.
What do you consider being straight or gay?
As long as you're respectful of other people's boundaries, there's nothing wrong with exploring the gray areas of sexuality with another guy. Just remember to wear your rubbers.
Turning Things Around Do you think that it's possible to turn a straight guy gay? If he "turns," then he was gay or bi all along. Yes, a persons' orientation can change. I'm in 5th grade and I'm bi. I like a straight guy. What should I do? Er, is this straight guy your age? Either way, you can't make someone gay or bi if they really are straight. If he is your age, then just focus on being friends with him without expecting anything more from it.
If something more happens, then good for you, but don't force anything. I hooked up with my straight friend a few years ago. I broke his trust, and he ended up dating my friend for a few years, but we're all still close.