A Song for the Mind, a tokyo ghoul/東京喰種トーキョーグール fanfic | FanFiction
Kirishima Touka is not the first girl that Kaneki Ken likes, but she's the first girl that gets him. She seems .. And then, she brings everyone to her coffee shop, and his old family is reunited with his new allies. .. He's in heaven. To meet Hide again. English - Hurt/Comfort - Kaneki K./Haise S., Touka K., Hide, Arima K. - Words: . I'm riding somewhere south of Heaven. Read Pregnant from the story Kaneki x Touka [Touken] One Shots by DreamerFae (Touken Hell) with reads. 7 Minutes in Heaven The female ghoul furrowed her eyebrows and turned over to lay on her back. . Touka, a Kamii University student meets Haise, the owner of a bookstore and falls immediately in love.
Touka is not the first girl that Kaneki likes. She is definitely not the first one to catch his interest. There were others before her. He does think she's cute when Hide points to her at the coffee shop, so long ago it seems like centuries have passed. But, although she is attractive, he has his eyes set on another girl, who unknowingly sets his life spiraling towards the path of tragedy.
Kamishiro Rize is both beautiful and smart. And she likes the same books as Kaneki does. Not to mention, she accepts going on a date with him.
Kaneki is not hopeless anymore. And he thinks this could be the start of something new, until she corners him on an empty alley and tries to eat him.
His life changes forever. There's no time for love and dates when you become a monster, and have to deal with your new life. Kirishima Touka is not the first girl that Kaneki Ken likes, but she's the first girl that gets him. She seems to dislike him at first, and Kaneki, who's always struggled with self-esteem issues, knows why she does. He's weak, he knows that, a coward, and annoying.
There's no reason why someone like Touka should have to deal with him. Touka teaches him how to make coffee the way Yoshimura-san does, and then she starts training with him, teaching him how to use his kagune.
She tries to toughen him up, to prepare him for this wicked world. Kaneki just wishes he was a better student, but he's grateful for the help. Touka is a survivor, a warrior, and he must become like her, Before Kaneki realizes, Touka has taught him what he needs to know about this new world he lives in.
She also saves him more than once from ghouls he ought to have known to keep out of their way. She worries about him, and that wrenches his heart painfully and beautifully.
And he is so undeserving of that attention that he doesn't know what to do with those feelings. So he keeps them to himself. And he also worries about her. Because she takes matters into her own hands, putting herself in danger time and time again. Maybe she's a little like him, lonely and desperate for love, so desperate that she'd rather hurt than hurt others. And she hurts, badly.
So bad, she could die easily, wilting away like a flower. There's a fragility in her that makes his heart hurt. She could die so easily, and he would never know about it. The thought of her, lying dead in some alley, or having fallen prey to the CCG, makes him nauseous.
Touka can't die like that. He won't allow it. Yet she's never so fragile, as Kaneki sees her then, fighting with her own brother. He's hurt, worn, traumatized, and more fucked up than he's ever been. He can't handle it.
Touka looks at him surprised, either by his sudden appearance, the change in his hair, or both. He feels naked, like she can see through all that he went through and all that he did before he reached her.
Kaneki suddenly feels ashamed to be in her presence. He's done awful things she probably shouldn't know about. So he puts her down, in a place where she'll be safe. Resolution invades his body, like a fire that can't be put out.
This time, Kaneki will protect her. And he does, breaking half of her brother's bones as punishment for what he did to her. After everything is settled, and they all have successfully escaped from Aogiri, Touka turns to him. When we get back, why don't we change your hair color?
If you work in the shop like that, you'll stand out a lot.
If he is to protect her and everyone else, he has to get away and become stronger. Kaneki can no longer afford to cower behind her, knowing how easily she can die. As he announces his plans, and others start joining him, he can see it before Touka utters the words that she wants to join him too.
But Kaneki can't afford to let her come, lest something bad might happen to her. I want to see Touka-chan's latte art.
She turns away and runs from him, from the situation. Kaneki can't blame her. He meant those words too. Touka is not the first person he wants to see after his long absence, but she's the one he wants to see the most.
He didn't lie back then. Kaneki is always with her. Because she's always in his thoughts, deep down, even if he wants to bury those feelings. He buys her a rabbit keychain on her birthday, even if, in the end, he decides not to see her, and runs away from her, when she catches a glimpse of him. Touka is well, continuing on with her normal life, and for that he's happy, albeit a bit lonely. Kaneki wishes life wasn't so complicated. He wishes that he could be with her again, even for a short time.
Yoshimura-san tells him he can come back to Anteiku, to his previous life, to Touka-chan. He doesn't know what to do, but he's willing to mull over this. Ironically, he runs into her on the bridge just when he's thinking of seeing her again.
She doesn't say anything, though, she just stares at the floor, and puts her arms around herself, as if to protect herself from him.
I don't want to lose anyone important to me, that's why I pulled out any interfering weeds. But Touka isn't taking any of his bullshit, and she calls him out on it. You pretend you care about other people, but in the end it's all about you. You're just being afraid of being alone, aren't you? What you want is nothing more but self-satisfaction. It's all so stupid. Because he can't fool her any more than he can fool himself.
And that bothers him, that pisses him off even. There are things Kaneki wishes to keep hidden, and Touka being able to read him so well, makes him feel exposed. She point blank tells him what she thinks. She's straightforward, and, in any other case, that'd be an endearing trait, but not now. As long as you're never left alone.
He evades every hit and kick she sends his way, but he can't stop the impact that her words deliver. Kaneki understands she wants to hurt him, because in some sense he had already hurt her first.
He decides then to do better by her, and return. If she would have him, that is. Alas, he never goes back to Anteiku. Inside Sasaki Haise, there are many people Kaneki wishes to see. People Kaneki wants to make sure are actually alive, and not dead. He wants to go home.
‘Tokyo Ghoul:re' Has Everyone Crying Over Its New Episode
It is Touka, out of everyone, who shows him his home still exists. As Haise, he has a habit of trying different coffee shops, looking for the best coffee in Tokyo.
He hasn't had luck yet. He has been to many places, sure, but all the coffees he tastes lack something he can't quite name. So, he keeps searching until one fateful day, along with Shirazu and Mutsuki, he finds a quaint little coffee shop named: On the counter, there's a man that looks put off by their sudden appearance in the shop. How many times do I have to tell you to greet our customers? Air leaves his lung. He's mesmerized by her, but Haise has no idea why.
The girl shows them to their table, and they order. Haise thinks that's an understatement. The waitress isn't just cute, she's gorgeous. He's so distracted by her, he doesn't notice when the other man sits in front of him. Haise is startled, but the contact doesn't last long. Then the waitress reprimands the man, who is apparently her brother. A few minutes later, she brings their coffees to the table, and when Haise takes a sip of that coffee, his world changes.
It smells and tastes like a place he used to know.
The coffee tastes like what home is supposed to be. He can't help it. Unknown feelings bubble inside him. He apologizes to his squad, and then the pretty waitress offers him a napkin. Nothing is making sense right now. She looks a bit troubled, and a bit sad. But the thought that he once had such a beautiful person in his life crosses his mind. It seems to be true. Touka isn't the first girl Kaneki likes, but she's the first girl Haise likes. After that first visit to: He liked the coffee, so that's reason enough to return, or so he tells himself.
Last time he couldn't check the books, but now he can look at them closely. The owners seem to have a great selection, and the titles of some books seem to ring a bell. Haise would like to read them some time. Haise thinks that this will be all, but she continues talking to him. I am a ghoul investigator. And then he keeps coming back to the shop. Soon, he's a regular there, and every time he walks through the door, the pretty waitress is already waiting for him, with a smile on her face.
Haise feels like he can be himself with her, forgetting for a bit his responsibilities as the leader of the Quinx Squad, and all the cases he's trying to solve. He's no longer someone's sensei, or the bringer of justice of the city.
Haise can't help but to observe her, using the books he brings or borrows from her, to cover the fact he's openly gawking at her. Haise likes to see how he waitress prepares coffee, and how she attends every single customer. However, it seems to him that she's a little more attentive towards him. But perhaps, that's just wistful thinking. Other times, Haise's bolder, and he openly talks to her.
He makes a pun or two, and manages to make her laugh. She has such a cute laugh. She even snorts a little, and tries to hide it by covering her mouth. Haise thinks it's a shame that she would cover her beautiful lips. At some point, he realizes he's infatuated with the pretty waitress.Tokyo Ghoul:re OST - Remembering (Episode 2 & 19 Theme) with Lyrics - ENG SUB
He only knows he's feeling like this, because he recognizes the feelings from the books he's read. Haise has no experience with love. He briefly wonders if in his previous he ever fell in love with someone, and if that person was somewhere, waiting for him.
'Tokyo Ghoul:re' Has Everyone Crying Over Its New Episode
Sometimes he thinks that that person might be the waitress, since she does seem familiar. Haise's most pressing issue, however, is whether or not she likes him back. He has noticed that she's a little kinder to him than to other customers, but he might very well had imagined such attentions. Besides, there might be someone else in her life.
Still, that doesn't stop him from wondering what she is doing during Christmas. If she's spending the night on a date… He hopes he has a chance. Touka isn't the first person to see Kaneki after he gains his memories, but she's the first one to shake his core. When Kaneki recovers his memories, he decides to continue where he left off. He distances himself from others for this purpose. He stops going to: He's colder to his former squad.
He becomes sadistic again. Kaneki also stops sleeping altogether. What matters to him now is to, firstly, rescue Hinami from Cochlea, and then bring down Aogiri and their leader Eto, as he had attempted to do so many years ago. Hinami slaps him upon being rescued, but Kaneki knows she will forgive him in time.
Next, he finds Ayato, Yomo-san, and Touka. He somehow feels shaken when he finally sees her after many years as himself, and not as a CCG investigator by the name of Sasaki Haise. It is too much to bear, and much more when he's fighting Arima of all people. So, he ignores her in favor of Ayato, whom he trusts loves his sister enough to take everyone to safety. But, of course, she would stay. Because she must know what he plans to do. After all is over, he will die. That's the only way to end things.
There's nothing in this world for him. The best thing he can do is die saving everyone else. Touka must understand it. Not when it is Arima who reminds him that, if he dies now, his friends won't survive. Not when he sees Hide, his best friend, in his mind.
Hide, who reminds him that he has to find a reason to live. The world is awfully lonely without him, and especially since Kaneki himself is responsible for his death. But, in the end, he has to live. Then Arima himself, his father figure, dies instead. When he reveals secrets that will help him in the future. When it's now up to Kaneki to fix this broken world. He dares to live, for just a bit longer, until he finds his true purpose.
It's not everyday you have the strongest warrior of CCG buys you a gift. Arima didn't answered though, he just nodded his head. It was beautiful, Arima thought. Seeing someone who had suffered a lot be happy is a joyful experience. Especially when the said person is like your son. Your only, most cherished son. We have a busy day tomorrow," Arima said as he stood up and walked out from the room. Arima gave a soft smile.
It was barely visible, enhanced with the dim lighting of the room. But Haise can see it. Arima walked to Haise and pull him into his warm embrace. Haise's hands clutched his clothes like his life depended on it. After a few seconds he pulled away. He remembered he didn't get any nightmares for five days after that.
It was one of his peaceful days, a memory that he will always keep in his heart. He put his hands on the keys, and played a soft melody. He had learned piano in his early life.
But he didn't play it as much as he used to anymore, ever since college started. And then he just stopped playing ever since he got turned into a ghoul.
He opened his mouth and began to sing, a song he heard somewhere when he was with his past group that were formed after his torture from Jason. They said that no man is an island. A phrase he found quite often in his books. It means that no one can accomplish anything alone. That they need other people to help them to be complete.
He found himself smiling at the memories of them. And good things come to those who wait. Wait… wait for what, exactly? Or to get a chance to save others? Or to sacrifice myself and die? Or to meet my precious people? Or to 'get my body back' like when Haise was still in control? But the things I hear are there just to remind me Kaneki remembered how 'he' begged his other self in the form of Sasaki Haise to give him his body back. To remember the memories. Memories of their time that was spent with their first family.
But he had been afraid hadn't he? I meant, Haise was afraid of remembering it wasn't he? Every dog will have his day He had been turned into CCG's 'dog' that day, when he lost miserably against Arima.
He thought he would have the worst life to live after he was imprisoned at Cochlea. It was one of the best time I ever had in my life. I was really happy. I was —oh so happy… The spirits, they intoxicate me He suddenly remembered the first time he turned into a ghoul by Dr. Rize's organ was transplanted into him, and he kept hearing her voice, especially when he was hungry.
Mad laughter echoed in his brain. They try to say. Tell my guns I'm coming home My guns, huh? Or is it my group? I disbanded it though. To get back to Anteiku. To meet Touka-chan again. He chuckled, remembering when Touka called him a trash, and that nobody was waiting for him in Anteiku. It was really just like her to do that. I swear, I'm gonna live forever Touka is pregnant. With my child inside her. She really is beautiful.
I want to protect her. No, I have to protect her. Tell my maker he can wait I won't let Kanou get what he wants. I won't let him hurt them. Touka-chan… Hide… I'm riding somewhere south of Heaven It's better to be hurt than to hurt others.
Kind people are able to find happiness with just that. But now I've changed. It doesn't matter if I have to destroy those who get in my way. Heading back to Santa Fe. Just to go home, like Anteiku.
It's judgement day in Santa Fe …before it got destroyed… Once I was promised absolution But if Anteiku was not raided, I won't be able to meet Arima and Akira and receive a second chance to live. There's only one solution for my sins …should I be glad that I lost my memories? Maybe I should, because if I remember, I won't stay there now will I?
You gotta face your ghosts and know with no illusions I remembered how frightened Haise was when he came face to face with me. He didn't want to remember. And I blame this world! For making a good man evil. But it came with a price. That can drive a good man mad. The same thing happened to Jason too, didn't it? He said that a dove did that to him. I guess he was a victim of this world too… And it's this world!
That turns a killer, into a hero. It is this world who's at fault. A ghoul, slaughtered because he or she existed, regardless them ever hurt a human or not. Hated by society because they wanted to live. A dove, praised as a savior who kill ghouls just because they existed. Not even sparing a harmless ghoul child and her mother. Won't even leave ghouls who consumed suicide victims. Well I blame this world for making a good man bad.
It's this world's fault that turned me into a monster. Now I ain't getting into Heaven …I…. It doesn't matter if I'm an artificial ghoul or not. I can't be saved anymore. I have destroyed too many lives. If the devil has his way… …It doesn't matter what I do. So why not push everything and try to achieve my goal? I just want to protect them. And I can't let Kanou do whatever he wants anymore.