Everyone Needs Therapy: Rubberband
In healthy relationships, men do not pull away out of anger or frustration about their Google "elastic band theory" if you need any more information on this. There is a theory that when someone pulls away in a relationship the best move forward is to pull away as well and, like a rubber band, the two. Magic Relationship Words - Over magic words, phrases and sentence- starters to make sure you say it right every time to your partner, spouse or lover.
Snapping the Rubber Band Theory on a Friend with Benefits | lovebeforeanything
The theory here, the one that I learned, is that a people need people, most of us do b we also need individual space, uninterrupted psychological space in which to think, to live our lives; time to be creative, to work and to relax, all by ourselves c most relationships start somehow and succeed when the needs of two people for psychological space match.
This often explains why parents tend to suffocate teenagers when they breathe within close proximity. A physics major might explain it better, but the needs just don't match. But let's talk about love and being in a "relationship" that is intimate, although the theory underlies all relationships, parent-child, employer-employee, teacher-student, brother-sister, etc.
The Rubber Band theory; watch as your partner comes pinging back | The Wandering Angel
We start out as people attracted to one another and subtly negotiate how often we'll talk, get together in vivo, in person. Maybe it's a first date and one of us can't wait for the other to call, to initiate time together. When I met FD a random meeting at a student union he asked me for my phone number, but I wouldn't give it to him until he confirmed that he would call, not crumble it up and throw it away.
My need for space at the time wasn't sufficiently broad enough to allow, say, a week to go by without hearing from him. He called within forty seconds, not a dumb guy. You have to know yourself and your needs and be true to them. So here you are, knowing you need someone in your life and somehow someone pops up, seems to be interested in playing this role.
And it's going well until one of you needs more space. The one who needs more space will just take it, usually, for there are no real chains, no leashes in relationships.
the difference between ghosting and having a rubberband moment?
No one can force anyone else to be with them, to communicate, make love, or even play. And when the person who needs space is gone too long, other songs, angry or sad songs become the songs of the day.
Emotionally mature people realize that the center of life, the focus of a partner, a significant other, even a friend, cannot be, should not be, themselves. Life is about living, doing, giving, creating, learning, working, that sort of thing.
This is not to say that a person shouldn't have a primary relationship, a Number One "go to" person. Having one a relationship like that is very nice if you can get it. I saw this as a sign he was trying to test my reactions.
I thought about it for a time, then let him know in a very sly and positive way, that if it was an option, I would like a relationship with him. He responded well to it, while telling me that he is not in a position to handle a serious relationship right now, but he thinks of me in a girlfriend role with him often.
It is hard not to since I have let myself begin to think of how a close friendship might turn into a perfect relationship however, it never could if he is not ready. Test Subject 2; Trevor: Trevor and I met at work 2 years ago, and he started coming onto me strong about 10 months ago.
In the beginning I thought that I wanted to date him but as our flirting continued he let it be known that he was recovering from a serious breakup which made emotional intimacy scary, and that he was leery about dating anyone at work. It took about a month before Trevor began to reach out to me in the friends with benefits way, but we still have not actually met up. I am totally confused about this one. That is the only thing that I can think of. I think I just need to give both of my friends with benefits time to miss me or time to wonder about what I am up to, instead of me offering this information to them on a regular basis, and never giving them a chance to think about potentially not having me around.
I would be a little bummed if this all ended with me losing hooking up with Trevor just because it is so good when it happens. I would be sincerely hurt if Jordan put things to a place where he is no longer a prospect of mine….
Use normal human behaviour standards. It is not hard.
Your Secret Love Weapon: The Rubber Band Effect
Would he do it to his boss? His sister in law? If the answer is no, you know where things are.
Someone who is interested in you and wants to spend time with you woulndt risk to have such a huge gap in communication. I am going through a similar situation, and I am not settling for anything like that….
Just because someone is going on a trip doesnt mean you cut ties, you can call and you can text its not that hard.The rubber band theory
Just take it for what it is, and do not reach out to him. I would think twice in giving him a chance if he appears out of the blue and expects things to just pick up where you guys left July 16, at But thanks for interpreting that in a way that gives you an excuse to go off on me.
July 17, at 2: Saying that, I would always give someone the benefit of the doubt. Not to mention if they like you, they want to be in touch with you. July 17, at On the trip he had time to cool down and maybe realized he was not that interested after all, and thus contact any more…. If you remain silent, there is a better chance that he might got curious and becOme interest again, but know for now he is not interested anymore….