"Life has a way of kicking you in the fucking nuts." 26 Times "The Osbournes" Were The Funniest Family On TV. "Life has a way of kicking you. The comotion heard through the bathroom door when Sharon tries to piss in the bottle, and then Kelly's face when she comes out. Kelly's facial expression when she sees Ozzy's Christmas outfit. Kelly: Jack, stop telling people you're Ozzy Osbourne's son to get into places, you're a. The Osbournes Cast MTV Anniversary Ozzy Sharon Kelly Jack The clan was like a real-life Addams Family, with Ozzy puttering around their outrageous moment came early on, in its fourth episode, with the Osbournes . 2Saturday Night Live: The 10 Best Sketches of Season 44 (So Far) Saturday.
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The Osbournes Quotes and Best Moments Website
You are solely responsible for such message rates and data charges. So when you say 'what causes What do you want me to do with my gun Sharon?
Put it under my bed? Whatever you want to do with it. I'll put it under my bed! Runs off like an excited five year old. Turn that thing off, its driving me mad!! Jack, stop telling people you're Ozzy Osbourne's son to get into places, you're a fucking loser! Dill the weird Houseguest: I was always the middle, little kid!!!
He's got an army haircut, cocaine on his fucking chest, and a knife in his pocket! It tastes like Fizzy Piss, but I'll have some. I'd like a glass of fizzy piss please, I'd love some. You don't need to hire a dog therapist, you just need to wake up at 7 am and open the fucking door!
I'm an ass-kicking fat kid.
The Osbournes Podcast
I love you all. I love you more than life itself, but you're all fucking mad. Well, its not that bad. I thought she was going to show me a picture of uhhhh Martha Stewart can lick my scrotum! Do I have a scrotum? Kelly's Christina Aguilera impression: Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ingle, Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ells. You haven't done anything, its your fucking daughter. I just got a call --when I'm in Tiffany-- from some woman telling me how I should prepare my vagina for my gynecologist appointment tomorrow.
She booked me a fucking gynecologist appointment! All you have to do is say "Fuck Off" when the vagina doctor calls.
The Osbournes Podcast
To Kelly after he's become suspicious You haven't been playing doctors and nurses have you? It's the funniest five minutes of television I've ever seen. Sharon to the neighbors: So, um, you can catch us before we go to church. Church service is at one, so if you can come at 12 it'd be perfect. Doolittle in this fucking house here. No we won't -- no we won't break the law Sharon.
We give them the controls and then the owner figures out on their own how to use it. That's how easy it is. Weather in Afghanistan, degrees and cloudy. What the fuck am I doing? I'm stuck on the weather channel. Your valet guy just farted in my car and it smells un-godly. The two women who go walking: Its a beautiful neighborhood. Its a very peaceful neighborhood.
Ozzy, no no no no no, here's the fruit! Ozzy, not the wood, you could be picked up for manslaughter! You're so fucking violent. International rock star - gravy maker extraordinaire. I think she's a fucking fruit loop. About Tamara, the dog therapist. Hey, what are you talking about No I don't, no I don't do that. And if you have, wear a condom. Note Kelly and Ozzy's facial expressions. Did anybody feed the dogs today? I feel like I'm invisible.
In the limo Look at the ceiling, its like Kelly's bedroom. Oh, wonderful, we'll live here. Jack, how are you getting there? A man with no legs.
Well, all the other parents are here Jack! After he tries to ditch her at the car when she drop him off for his trip. How many crosses do you have there? I need every one. About Kelly's tatoo Who did it? I'm not telling you. Because I know you're going to go down there and sue them. They make you, like, feed a tree before you feed yourself.
How the fuck you feed a tree? Who pissed on my fucking carpet!?! That bastard fucking dog man. I'm going to throw you in the pool! It's a fucking terrorist man! It's fucking part of Bin Laden's gang! What's the difference between Roy Rogers and Will Rogers? Yeah, that's what I was wondering!! Who the fuck is Will Rogers? Don't you want to see your dad?
I'll see it tonight Well, you are blonde. Get a real job. About her tatoo Well, you're not going to say anything.