Chris Rock - Wikiquote
Offering you a sneak peek into the day to day lives of the biggest stars in porn. CASTING . @lildurk You wanna meet the President, You gotta meet The Bang. And that may be a plan to win the election, but the reason they've got to do that is I had a chance to talk to you and meet you and share stories with you. Before I start, I just want to acknowledge an outstanding Administration of. You wanna meet the president you gotta meet the bang bros. Hella bank rolls all them bank rolls ain't yours. Spendin flexin so much cash that it.
That shit wasn't about race … that shit was about fame. He'd be Orenthal the Bus Driving Murderer. So you gotta look at OJ's situation.
Songs by Lil Durk
Now I'm not saying he should have killed her There's a lot of racism going on. Who's more racist, black people or white people? Because we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people really don't like about black people. There's some shit going on with black people right now. It's like a civil war going on with black people.
And there's two sides, there's black people and there's niggas. The niggas have got to go. Everytime a black person wanna have a good time, ignorant-ass niggas fuck it up. You can't have shit when you got niggas around, you can't have shit. You can't have no big screen TV! You can have it, but you better move it in at 3 in the morning. Paint it white, hope niggas think it's a bassinet. Can't have shit in your house!
Because niggas will break into your house. Niggas will live next door to you break into your house, come over the next day and go, "I heard you got robbed. You didn't see shit 'cause you was doing shit! You can't go see a movie opening day, you know why?
What kind of ignorant shit is that? Niggas always want credit for some shit they supposed to do. A nigga will brag about some shit a normal man just does.
Joe Pesci: Nicky Santoro
A nigga will say some shit like, "I take care of my kids. You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherfucker! Community college is like a disco with books: You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club. I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
Shit, I'd be doing a drive-by from here to Brooklyn! You know what they say, "There's no reason to ever hit a woman. There's a reason to hit everybody. You just don't do it. Shit, there's a reason to kick an old man down a flight of stairs.
Ain't nobody above an ass-whooping. You know what GED stands for? Roll with the New Album, [ edit ] Yo, man. I mean it's a couple of people that float, but, look, for the most part, the genre sucks. Just a bunch of people singing over rap beats.
You don't like a rap record? Everybody talking them label. Look, the Isley Brothers wasn't going "Teaneck in the motherfuckin' house". The Jacksons were not singing about Epic because nobody gave a fuck! Hey, this is a joke that I wrote a long time ago. I actually, I really really, wrote this joke. And I saw this prostitute, right?
And I said, 'How much? If the kid call his grandmama "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he going to jail! You don't need no gun control. You know what you need? We need some bullet control. Man, we need to control the bullets, that's right. I'm gonna get me another job, I'm gonna start saving some money, and then you're dead man!.
You better hope I can't get no bullets on layaway! And even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you don't gotta go to no doctor to get it taken out, whoever shot you will take they bullet back! We had no friends, the trenchcoat mafia …" Hey, I saw the yearbook picture, it was six of them! I ain't have six friends in high school. I don't got six friends now!
Shit, that's three-on-three with a half court. Who gives a fuck what they was watching? Whatever happened to crazy? A bunch of girls say, "You don't need no man to help you raise no child" … shut the fuck up with the bullshit! Yeah, you could do it without a man, but that don't mean it's to be done! Shit, you can drive a car with your feet if you want to, that don't make it a good fucking idea! If you said more words to him than "mommy'll be back", he might know something! That's right, "tell your mama", "tell your mama", "tell your mama" … nobody tells daddy shit!
Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca! Nothing more racist than a old black man, you know why? He ain't go through that "I can't get a cab" shit. He was the cab! White man just jump on his back: So everybody bitching about how bad their people got it: Everyone needs to calm the fuck down. I'm watching the news … Tupac Shakur was assassinated, Biggie Smalls assassinated, struck down by assassin's bullets … no, they wasn't.
Them two niggas got shot! Shit, I love Tupac, I love Biggie, but school will be open on their birthday. I ain't shooting nobody, so call me a faggot. When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs.
At least they're trying to get rid of AIDS. Some diseases they just gave up on. Some diseases, if you get them, you're on your own. They ain't going to have no telethon for you.
R Kelly ain't singing no song. You just got this shit. Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies … a man's lie is, "I'm at Tony house, I'm at Kenny house! Women are offered dick every day. Every woman in here … gets offered dick at least three times a week. Three times a day, shit! That's right, every time a man's being nice to you … all he's doing is offering dick.
That's all it is. You stole this car! I took my AlDS test. You start thinking about every nasty, skank-ass It's like the movie Scrooge, and the Ghost of Pussy Past comes. Bigger and Blacker Album Version, [ edit ] Yo, my first choice for the producer of this album was not Prince Paul.
It was Roger Troutman and the group Zapp. Let's see how that would have sounded. The following run through a Talk box: A black man boy said to a Cadillac dealer. And he's looking at some Cadillacs. And the dealer of Zohan says "are you thinking of buying a Cadillac? I'm thinking of pussy I'm chilling' in my house in a pair of and getting ready to watch the game.
You know what she had the nerve to say? I thought the woman was crazy. But, then, you know what else she wanted me to do? So, I'm in my car, right? I'm gonna tell you something. You're wanted in 18 states and 2 territories! Nigga, what did you do? How the hell you gonna do something like that with a seal? You know, that don't sound too bad.
I'll try it with my woman. Just chilling' in Heaven! And I'm like, "God, you know everything. I can ask you one question. Who won the game? But if your daughter's a stripper, you fucked up. My favorite song right now is impossible to defend.
We should all be ashamed of ourselves for liking this fucking song. You know that shit: Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet!
Till the sweat drip from my balls! It's like, "Daddy, where'd you meet Mommy? I'm gonna change my name to Cina Buns and I'm gonna wear clear heels!
Lil Durk-Bang Bros Lyrics | Hip Wiki
When did that happen? Was there a big ho convention, and all the hoes got together and said, "We need something new! Something that just says nasty" And one girl said, "I got it! If the beat's all right, she will dance all night! I've seen girls on the floor dancing to the nastiest shit ever made. It's like, "Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick! If you're at a strip club and the sun is out, you got some problems!
You know those guys that eat at the strip club? How the fuck could you eat in a nasty-ass strip club? Are you THAT hungry? Motherfucker, go to Mickey D's or some shit!
Not even Rwandan refugees eat that shit! At a damn strip club! Titties and tater tots don't mix! You know the stripper myth? There's a stripper myth that's being perpetuated throughout society. The myth is, I'm strippin' to pay my tuition. There's no strippers in college! There's no clear heels in biology! Shit, man, I didn't know they had a college that only took one-dollar bills. And if they got so many strippers at college, how come I never got a smart lap dance?
I never got a girl that sat on my lap and said, If I was you, I would diversify my portfolio. The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man!
Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body.
Hey, man don't let all this celebrity garbage fool you. It's all just a trick to get your mind I think Bush sent that girl to Kobe's room. Bush sent that girl to Kobe's room, Bush sent that little boy to Michael Jackson's house. Bush killed Laci Peterson. Bush was fucking Paris Hilton in that video. All to get your mind off the war. Bush lied to me, they all lied to me: They're the most dangerous regime in the world.
Shit, man, you couldn't take over Baltimore in two weeks. White man makes guns. Big deal, nobody gives a fuck, kids shoot each other at school, nobody gives a fuck. White man makes guns? Black rapper says "guns"? Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a trickless magician?? Where the fuck's the trick? Saw a woman in half.
Pull a rabbit out of a hat. What tricks does this guy have? That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects! Ed Bradley looked at Michael Jackson like he wanted to say, "Nigga, is you crazy? You nutty nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you? We fucking dominate all this shit!
Basketball, baseball, football, boxing, track- even golf and tennis! And as soon they make a heated hockey rink, we're gonna take that shit, too. Wait 'till you see LeBron on some skates. You ain't seen shit yet! He just gonna have one skate, chilling. You know when he was really crazy? When he was riding around on a unicycle with a Hitler helmet on! I'm a crazy tiger! A black C student can't be a manager at Burger King.
Meanwhile, a white C student just happens to be the President of the United States. Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Kelly 's got a lot of balls. Talking about "it ain't me. There's a damn Soul Train award right next to the bed. What is on Kobe's mind?
Going to Coloradoaround all these white people, and not bringing Johnnie Cochran? Well then they say, "well if you hire Johnnie Cochran, you're going to look guilty. You want to look innocent in jail? I'd rather look guilty at the mall. It's hard to defend " I've got hoes in different area codes ". It's hard to defend " move, bitch, get out the way! Thus the term, "move, bitch, get out the way".
You need to open your eyes so you can get the bitches out of your way! The only thing you can do … is be there. Wherever he's thinking about fucking, that's it. Just be right there. And even then he still might lose your ass. He's like, "Honey, look! Let me go fuck this bitch right now! Be a fucking person! Let it swirl around your head. Then form your opinion.
No normal, decent person is one thing, okay? I've got some shit I'm conservative about, I've got some shit I'm liberal about. The white man who signs his check … is wealthy. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. It's the absolute only issue that the President will answer. The President don't give a fuck. He will give you a straight answer on gay marriage.
President, what about the war? When's it gonna end? We're talking to people, and we're looking for stuff, and we might find it, we might not, and it's out there, we're gonna get it, you never know.
President, what about the economy, when's it gonna pick up? You know what I'm saying? President, what about gay marriage? Ain't no happiness nowhere. If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love. If you haven't seriously thought about killing a motherfucker, you ain't been in love.
If you haven't had a can of rat poison in your hand and looked at it for forty-five minutes straight, you ain't been in love. If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll their ass up in, you ain't been in love. If you haven't practiced your alibi in front of the mirror, you ain't been in love.
And the only thing that's stopped you from killing this motherfucker was a episode of CSI: I better make up. They might catch my ass. Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what's that focus?
That focus is all about HER! It's all about her! Fuck your hopes, fuck your dreams, fuck your plans … fuck everything you thought this life was going to bring to you. Now let's go out there and try to make this bitch happy.
You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for twenty five years, you put a man in between them … "fuck that bitch," "fuck that bitch. Guys actually think that there are other fish in the sea, and if a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend, and when they walk away, his boy goes, "Oh man, she's nice, I gotta get me a girl like that. But here's what they don't tell you. Is that a little fuckin' girl?
What happened to the fuckin' tough guy who told my friend to stick it up his fuckin' ass? And we know what you do, don't we Charlie? You fuck people out of money and get away with it. You can't talk to me like that Hey, you fat Irish prick! You put my fucking money to sleep. You go get my fucking money or I'll put your fucking brain to sleep.
Fuckin' Jews stick together, don't they? They're havin' a good time. I tried to do everything I could for you, even though I knew, deep down inside, you would bury me.
Peek-a-boo, you fucks, you! Think he got the point? What are you doing? He's a square guy, for christ's sakes. You can't treat him like that. He's gonna run to the FBI. That prick's been dodging me for three weeks. And what is it with you? All of a sudden, you're trying to tell me what to do all the time. I'm not trying to tell you what to do. But you were way out of line, Nick. Where's your fucking balls? You know I'm trying to put something really big together out here.
You know what I'm talking about, huh? If you're acting like this now, how can I depend on you? There's a lot of things going to change out here.
And if you wanna be there with me, Sammy, you're going to have to go my fucking way. Listen, Nick, you got to understand my situation. I'm responsible for thousands of people. I got a hundred million a year going through the place. It's all over, I'm going to tell you, it's all over, if I don't get that license. And believe me, if it goes bad for me, it's gonna go bad for a lot of people, you understand? Yeah, forget about your fucking license. I plant my own flag out here, you ain't gonna need a fucking license.
You know, I don't know what it is, Sammy, but the more I talk to you, the more I feel like you just don't want to go along with me, is that it?
You should say so. No, I don't want to come along with you. I'll be honest with you. Just say so- All right, fine. I don't want to be involved in anything you're talking about, okay? I just want to run a square joint.
I just want my license. I want everything nice and quiet. You mean, quiet like this? That's all taken out of context. I have no control over that. Ronnie and Billy were right there. They'll tell you exactly what happened. Well, back home they don't know about fucking control. I'm going to tell you what looks bad. Every time you're on television, I get mentioned. What the fuck happened to you? Will you tell me? What happened to me? What happened to you?
You lost your control. You're fucking walking around like John Barrymore! You know, I didn't want to bring this up, but you have treating a lot of people with a lot of disrespect. Even your own wife.
Casino () - Joe Pesci as Nicky Santoro - IMDb
Now, what does she have to do with all this? Well, she comes to see me. She was upset about a lot of things, especially that whole fuckin' Diamond - that Lester Diamond incident. All of a sudden, you're the shoulder to cry on? Did you at least tell her about your little role in that whole situation? What good would that do?
That's not the fucking point. The point is that she's upset. She's - and you got a fucking problem. Listen, I would appreciate it if you'd stay out of my personal life, okay?
You wouldn't like it if I did it to you. We're supposed to be robbin' this place, you dumb fuckin' Hebe.
I want to just talk. I want to talk to that Irish bitch. She didn't know who to turn to. She was tryin' to save your marriage. Nicky, I want to talk to that fuckin' bitch.
Hey, be fuckin' nice.
Don't fuck up in here, Nicky Santoro: That black book's a joke.