Five things you must do when you say sorry | South China Morning Post
It is difficult to say whether her singing is better than her acting for Dublin should I'm sorry I sent that Gilbert article [to the Galaxy] as I could have had it printed here. My piece [Extremes Meet] goes on and I get praise from all quarters. We the parliament of Australia respectfully request that this apology be of the Commonwealth we would in parliament say sorry to the stolen generations. . to them under statute; that this policy was taken to such extremes by some in . defined projects would, I believe, meet with the support of the nation. You messed up. Maybe you made your spouse cry, forgot about your child's basketball game, got caught in a lie - or worse. An apology is in.
Are you willing to let your apology be an apology?
Apologies: What, When and How – Whatever
Which, again, is going to make things worse. A final point for this part, not in the form of a question but still important to know: An apology is directed toward other people, but is something you do for yourself. Which is to say, the reason to apologize is not because other people expect it from you although they maybut because you expect it from yourself — it is part of your personal character to own up to the wrongs you have done to others. To my mind, an apology has three steps to it, which are pretty simple and straightforward.
Say what it is. Acknowledge that you wronged others. Acknowledge it and say it. Say it, own it. Let it be there.
Use the active voice. The offense is yours.
Save your funny and clever side for something else. Be upfront and to the point. Brevity does not mean insincerity. Here is an example of an apology done as suggested above.
Yesterday I made a cancer joke in front of you, and as a result I caused you pain. I am genuinely sorry I hurt you. I will try very hard not to do it again. Let me know — JS Simple, direct and to the point. Some after-apology points to consider.
- Five things you must do when you say sorry
- Kevin Rudd's sorry speech
- Apologies: What, When and How
An apology is not self-administered absolution. I said I was sorry! You should accept that your apology may not be accepted.
And that it may not be accepted for any number of reasons. Winch said the ideal apology will include five specific ingredients: An "I'm sorry" statement. Expression of regret for your mistake.
An acknowledgment that social norms or relationship expectations were violated. A statement of empathy in which you acknowledge that you understand how your actions may have hurt the other person.
A request for forgiveness.
Winch says the third point - acknowledging why the act was wrong - "tends to sensitise the offender to the issue and reduce the likelihood of offending in this way again". Make it clear to the person you harmed that you understand why your decision was a poor one. Did you violate their trust?MLB Apologizing
But don't go overboard. Keep the apology concise, Alpert says, and avoid saying too much or straying from the point.
This could "dilute your intended message", he says. Even if your apology includes all the necessary parts, it needs to feel as if it has a heart, too.
The trickier aspect of apologising is identifying the best time to do it. Good apologies require reflection and thought, so rushing one might make it less effective, Winch warns. Alpert says the timing all depends on the circumstances.