to be friends with someone but didn't know how to make the first move? Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! personality and make follow-up conversations — like chatting about. I'm a bit of an introvert -- and yet, I've learned to love meeting new a head's up that you're truly interested in what it is that you're asking them. Striking up friendships as an adult can be tricky – and studies show millions of us are lonely. Here, four people who forged new connections explain how they did it . I have been happy to see my friends move through these huge life moments, Joining a group or class based on something you really love.
Other dogs will be naturally curious and drag their owners over to say hello in doggie language.
If there's a dog park in your community, take a ball or frisbee and have an outing with your pet. The odds are good you'll meet people that are fellow dog lovers. Sit at community tables. Find restaurants that have community dinner tables or bar tables.
Rather than isolating yourself at a two-top, sit at the community table and meet new people seated nearby. Reach out on Facebook or other social media. I reached out to a few and have met up for coffee. Through Facebook, you may discover some old friends or acquaintances that you didn't know lived nearby. Host your own casual dinner party or open house and invite your neighbors, people from work, or acquaintances you've bumped into along the way.
Invite them to bring a friend along so you expand your potential circle of new connections. You don't have to do anything elaborate. Make a pot of soup or order a few pizzas. The point is to simply bring people together and expand your circles. Find a business association. Are there groups or associations related to your career?
Research local business events and attend them so you can network professionally and personally. Go to a cultural event. Become an annual member of the symphony, local theater, or ballet. Attend the performances as well as the fundraising and member events.
30 Almost Painless Ways To Meet New People
Strike up conversations with other attendees who are there because they appreciate the arts just like you. If you prefer visual art, visit your local galleries, talk with the owners or managers, and discuss the art with other guests. One of the best ways to meet people is in a class at the gym. But if classes aren't your thing, spend time in the weight room when it's busy so you can converse with other gym rats. If there's a cafe or juice bar at your gym, hang out for a bit after your workout and connect with other members.
If you have a couple of friends or acquaintances who have a larger circle of friends, ask them to introduce you to new people. If you've moved to a new city like I have, maybe your existing friends know people in your new city. Ask them to make an email connection and then follow up yourself to suggest a get-together. Participate in Toastmasters or another speaking club.
Public speaking isn't fun for most people, but when you're thrown in a setting where everyone shares the same fears and learning curve, it can quickly break the ice. Speaking clubs not only give you the confidence to make presentations, but they also give you the chance to meet a variety of new and interesting people.
Go on a wine or beer tour. I live in a city with dozens of local breweries, and brew tours are common occurrences here. If you have wineries nearby or even restaurants that offer wine tastings, join in the fun and meet other connoisseurs.
Beer, wine, and socializing always seem to pair well together. Take a dance class. Ballroom dancing is a great way to get up close and personal with potential new friends or romantic partners. But you don't have to stick with ballroom dance. Take a jazz class, Zumba, or Salsa dancing. It's great exercise, and you'll meet fun people who enjoy kicking up their heels. Find a church or religious community. If you're a spiritual person or have a strong faith, your church, synagogue or other religious community is the perfect place to meet supportive, like-minded friends.
Go to seminars, book signings, or speaking events.
Look in your local community guide to see what happenings and events are coming up in your area. Attend some of these events and try to sit next to someone who might be looking for a new friend too. Hang out at a jazz or music club. Do you enjoy jazz or some other music genre that works well in a smaller venue and allows for conversation? Ask for a specific restaurant recommendation, a new workout class, or the best nearby cafe to work from.
They also give a glimpse into your own personality and make follow-up conversations — like chatting about how that exercise class went or even suggesting that you go to one together — a little easier! They are often unexpected and deeply appreciated. It might feel easier to compliment the things that are obvious, like physical appearance or style, but if you feel up to it, make it something a little more personal.
Compliment their work ethic, creativity, insightful comment, compassion, or great laugh. Explain what you love about it and why it moves you. These kinds of genuine, perceptive compliments are the ones that stick with us. And moving beyond the superficial can make people feel seen and heard in ways that really foster connection and friendship. Usually, the more you give, the more insincere they can start to feel.
And ideally, most of us want friendships that are based on balance and equality, not adulation. These are icebreakers and enablers. They can help even the most introverted person spark engagement and become more charismatic. I'm happy to share them below, along with a little insight into how and why they work. In an effort to ensure I remember these phrases all in the heat of the moment, I came up with an acronym for each grouping: I think most people who start using this system will quickly internalize it.
You'll also find that you naturally replace the suggestions below with your own go-to phrases -- things that roll more naturally off your tongue.
But these will get you started. Cordiality The word cordial has two conflicting meanings: These first phrases in the cordiality group are the easiest ones -- the introductions that make a positive impression and set the tone for what follows.
They're also some of the most basic phrases you've likely been advised to use since kindergarten. Imagine your last experience at the DMV, and do the opposite. These are the kinds of introductory phrases that are conspicuous by their absence. If someone has earned a degree or a position with a title, they've put a lot of their life's effort into achieving and perfecting it.
So address them by it, at least once in your conversation.
6 Ways to Approach Someone You Want to Be Friends With | The Everygirl
Even if they respond with, "No, please, call me Bill," they'll appreciate it. Interest Cordiality is step one; frankly it's about as far as a lot of people get. Think of how many times you've been at a networking event or in a social situation where you and another person can't keep the conversation going past "hello. Then, give them an opportunity.
They'll likely open up. Where did you get that jacket? What mode of transportation did you take to get here? What's the best vacation you've been on? Who's the one person you want to meet tonight and why? Anything to give the other person a chance to start talking about what he or she wants, believes, or has experienced.
It's effective because you're giving the other person a head's up that you're truly interested in what it is that you're asking them to talk about. Of course, in this case you have to introduce the person to a third person, but it works wonders. You're basically inviting another person to hold court for an audience.