Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
2 days ago Does someone close to you suffer from borderline personality disorder? Partners and family members of people with BPD often describe the relationship as . bogged down in attempting to reconcile the words being used. The person with BPD may appear to be the underdog in the relationship, while his Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert on . Jun 23, This is not to say it's your fault if a person self-harms, but being responsive .. I would love to have any information someone has about family.
They may use alcohol, food, or drugs or other addiction to try to self-medicate their pain, but it only exacerbates it. Like all personality disorders, BPD exists on a continuum, from mild to severe. To diagnose BPD, at least five of the following symptoms must be enduring and present in a variety of areas: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Unstable and intense personal relationships, marked by alternating idealization and devaluation. Persistently unstable sense of self. Risky, potentially self-damaging impulsivity in at least two areas e. Around eight to 10 percent actually commit suicide.
Chronic feelings of emptiness. Frequent, intense, inappropriate temper or anger. Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms. The cause of BPD is not clearly known, but often there has been neglect, abandonment, or abuse in childhood and possibly genetic factors.
8 Best Tips for How to Cope With a Loved One’s Borderline Personality Disorder
Research has shown brain changes in the ability to regulate emotions. For more, read here and here. Unlike narcissists, who often avoid therapyborderlines usually welcome it; however, before recent treatment innovations, its effectiveness had been questioned.
Today, BPD is no longer a life sentence. Studies have shown that some people recover on their own, some improve with weekly therapy, and some require hospitalization.
Supporting Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness
Long-term treatment is required for maximum results, with symptom relief increasingly improving. A year study showed substantial remission after 10 years. Most individuals with BPD have another co-occurring diagnosis, such as addiction or depression. This emotional volatility can cause turmoil in their relationships and stress for family members, partners, and friends. Learning a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder can come as a source of both relief and hope.
Tips for Couples Living With Borderline Personality Disorder | Everyday Health
Does your loved one have borderline personality disorder? Do you feel like you have to tiptoe around your loved one, watching every little thing you say or do for fear of setting them off? Do you often hide what you think or feel in order to avoid fights and hurt feelings?
Does your loved one shift almost instantaneously between emotional extremes e. Are these rapid mood swings unpredictable and seemingly irrational? Does your loved one tend to view you as all good or bad, with no middle ground? Is everything always your fault?
Does the person accuse you of doing and saying things you never did? Do you feel misunderstood whenever you try to explain or reassure your partner? Do you feel manipulated by fear, guilt, or outrageous behavior? However, those feelings are very real to the person with the disorder. Therefore, dismissing their emotions is not only profoundly painful, it is counterproductive. You can provide validation without agreeing with them. Often, simply mirroring back what they are telling you can be highly effective.
Validation is so critical for people with BPD that it has become one of the most central components of treatment. Ensuring that your loved one feels heard can go a long way toward helping both your loved one and your relationship.
Simplify Your Message Depending on their current state, people borderline personality disorder may distort what you are saying in order to confirm their own worst suspicions of you or of themselves. A seemingly innocuous statement can easily be twisted into an attack, even if it is the furthest thing from what you meant.
Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
It can feel as if you cannot get through to your loved one because the illness stands between you, filtering out your true intentions and making communication impossible. To minimize the risk of this happening, Randi Kreger, author of the renowned Stop Walking on Eggshells, suggests: When speaking with [a person who has BPD], especially about sensitive issues, remember emotion is likely to be so strong that neither of you can do high-level thinking.
Make each sentence short, simple, and direct. Leave no room for misinterpretation.
- How to Cope When a Partner or Spouse Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
Begin Your Recovery Journey. Encourage Responsibility When someone you love has BPD, it can be easy to fall into a caretaking role.
However, encouraging responsibility is sometimes the most loving thing you can do. Allowing them to experience natural consequences can help them understand that they need help.