11 Signs That Your Boyfriend is Too Self-Centered - Relationship Rules
Being self-centered can fall somewhere within this spectrum as well. relationships are purely transactional, while self-centered people still. This does not mean that you cannot have a fulfilling relationship, and it certainly The good news is that being self-absorbed is common in the teen years. Think you might be dealing with someone who's self-absorbed? lead to them coming across as pretentious and them failing to be vulnerable in relationships.
You have been in a relationship for a few months, and you begin to notice your new boyfriend spends a lot of time talking about himself and his accomplishments.
How to Not Be Self-Centered in a Relationship
Your beautiful new girlfriend seems to look around every room she enters. Full of herself, she waits for heads to turn and approving looks to come her way. When you share a success or an exciting event in your life, inevitably the conversation turns to your partner's self-absorption with their achievements or more thrilling adventures. He or she is self-centered. Their massive ego needs your constant approval, accolades, and attention, but they rarely return those gifts to you.
It has become a one-man or one-woman show in which your partner is the leading character, and you are merely the supporting cast or cheering audience. No one likes self-centeredness, especially if you are spending the majority of your time with them.
Self-absorbed people can suck the life out of you, as you do backflips to prop up their egos and insatiable need for reinforcement. What does being self-absorbed mean? When you encounter a person like this they tend to be consumed with their own thoughts and concerns. They are not good at actively listening to others or curious enough to ask conversational questions. If you are a kind, empathic, and giving a person, you might give a self-absorbed person a lot of grace.
You might think you just need to give more, praise more, and be more accepting so that you'll receive a few crumbs of approval yourself. At first, you may mistake your partner's self-absorption for confidence, high self-esteem, and positivity. You may not recognize at first that this pulled-together, attractive, and self-absorbed personality is really a narcissist in the making. Here are 13 traits of self-centered people you should watch out for: They always view themselves as better than others, including you.
Some people are so preoccupied by their own opinions, self-image, and appearance that they believe they breathe rarified air. They view themselves as a special breed, someone whom others should look up to and acknowledge as special. As the partner of a self-absorbed person, your job is to praise and adore this person.
Common Traits Of The Self-Centered Person
But you will never be on equal footing with him or her. People who are egotistical always think they are superior to others, which often leads them to devalue people around them. The more you give of yourself, the more this self-centered person will show contempt for you. They have strong opinions.Before The Person :: Relationship Goals (Part 1)
Your partner's opinions are known because he or she makes them perfectly clear. Personality types who are into themselves do not want to listen to the opinions of other people because they only believe their views, preferences, and desires are correct.
If you disagree or present another opinion, the overly self-involved person views this as an attack or put-down. He views you as an extension of himself, and expressing your own opinions feels threatening to his fragile ego.
They hide their insecurities and vulnerabilities. While people who are self-consumed may appear to have it all together, the opposite is usually true. Underneath the bravado is a deep well of insecurities. Why else would she continue to boast and need constant reinforcement? Maintaining this veneer of perfection and confidence keeps you at arms distance, as the self-centered partner has a difficult time with emotional intimacy.
This kind of closeness requires opening up and being vulnerable, allowing you to see his or her weaknesses and flaws. But this feels immensely frightening to someone whose entire life is based on maintaining a facade.
Admitting weakness for self-centered personalities feels like death. They abuse their friendships. People who are obsessively into themselves have an easy time making friends at first. They can be charming, interesting, and fun to be around. But often they just want to benefit from the relationship in some way, mainly to have an audience to reinforce their relentless need for attention and approval.
You may notice your new lover has a crowd of adoring sycophants who buzz around him or her, trying to capture some of the magnetism and success. Over time, however, you see how friends are carelessly discarded by your partner, or how they drop away as they realize they are being used.
One characteristic of a self-absorbed person is they don't have deep and lasting friendships based on mutual respect and trust. They have very little empathy for others. Self-centered people think the world revolves around them and that their own challenges are the only ones that matter. They view your pain or problems through their own eyes and how it impacts them.
Whatever hardships you are having, they've had it worse. They aren't interested in how you are impacted or what you are feeling. They don't want to be bothered with your emotional needs. They think the world and you exists for their benefit and needs and have little concern about how others are affected 6.
11 Signs That Your Boyfriend is Too Self-Centered
They are more concerned with superficial qualities than character. Does your partner seem more interested in how you look, the kind of car you drive, or your income than he or she does in your characterinterests, and emotional needs?
Egotistical people often choose partners who will reflect well on them. I can attract this hot man who makes a lot of money and drives a Porsche. A self-consumed person is far more interested in how you look on his arm than he is in your goals and dreams or your deepest fears.
If your partner is not very interested in who you are as a person, so you likely won't feel seen, appreciated, or heard in the relationship. What is it about American culture that applauds being self-centered?
And why is it that so many Americans take the bait? Our current culture not only supports, but requests, that individuals put themselves and their own happiness first.
Self caring means that you have concern for others, but not at the expense of yourself. Self-centered people are not easy to spot; they are capable of being personable and kind upon meeting new people.
Those who are self-centered know they are, on some level, and are usually aware of how unappealing the quality is. There are various degrees of being self-centered, but the general traits are the same: There are times we all have been guilty of one or all of those traits, but what sets self-centered people apart is that they behave that way all the time.
Those who are very self-centered may even go as far as lying or manipulating to get their way or make things work out in a way that favors them. Subjects who had previously been diagnosed as self-centered were given something that they wanted and that others in the room needed. It was concluded that those who are self-centered use a "two-stage reasoning," in which they determine the amount they want to keep for themselves and then distribute the remaining amount, if any, among those who are actually in need.
If there is a person in your life who seems exceedingly self-centered, he or she may suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. They are driven by a moment-to-moment monitoring of their worth.
How to Not Be Self-Centered in a Relationship | Our Everyday Life
Since they find it difficult to provide self-worth, they seek it from external sources. Those who are self-centered tend to treat the people badly because they view their partners as nothing more than objects that are in place to feed them emotionally.
When dealing with a self-centered person, keep a few things in mind. It will inevitably become very difficult to be kind to a self-centered person who is unkind to you, but you can alleviate any feelings of anger by focusing on the person you are and continuing to like that person.