Codependency Relationships - Codependent
Consider codependency—when two people with dysfunctional personality traits The following questions can serve as a guide to determine if your relationship. What is your attachment style? Based on the attachment theory, the Relationship Attachment Style Test checks for behaviors that indicate codependency. The first question will indicate what type of relationship you're struggling with. The remaining questions will delve into that type of relationship in more detail.
The term "codendency" is not in the DSM and is borrowed from the language of drug and alcohol addiction. In actuality, it is a rather vague and difficult to define term, which has resulted in many people having different definitions.
I will define it as seeking love based on feelings of inadequacy that one hopes will be repaired by one's lover. In this scenario, the lover cannot be the individual they really are, but must fulfill a role their partner has for them. The trouble is that there is never enough love. That is where the codependent come in.
Because of low self esteem and deep seated insecurity, the codependent cannot be the person they really are. Instead, they work to please the other person in order to ensure they will be loved.What is the Relationship Between Codependent and Counterdependent Traits and Personality Disorders?
Therefore, a codependent submerges their needs for those of the other person. In the parlance of alcohol and drug abuse, the codependent makes it easy for the alcoholic to continue to drink because they fear that, if they recover or if they are confronted, they will recover and leave.
Abusive relationships in which one or both partners are beaten verbally, physically, psychologically or all three are characterized by this type of relating. It is sometimes referred to as "sado-masochistic relating. The live under the concept that "it is better to be abused than to be alone.
The answer is that if you constantly submerge your wishes for the wishes of another or fear asserting what you may wish, then, you may be in a very self destructive relationship.
One example of the way this works is the following: This can refer to the man or the woman but, in my experience, it is women who most often become embroiled in a self destructive relationship.
The woman has a talent for finding men who do not want marriage and say so from the onset.
Ignoring this early warning, she sets for herself and for him, the goal of changing his mind and winning his hand in marriage. Having set this goal, she is also sensitive to any type of behavior that feels like rejection. In fact, she even expects it, probably based on past experiences with men, and she asks for reassurance. At first, some reassurance is given. However, the very next time he has either a trip or dinner that is business in nature, she becomes suspicious and expects that he is attempting to avoid or reject her.
Then, her demandingness becomes more strident. Similar patterns have been seen in people in relationships with chronically or mentally ill individuals. Today, however, the term has broadened to describe any co-dependent person from any dysfunctional family.
A dysfunctional family is one in which members suffer from fear, anger, pain, or shame that is ignored or denied. Underlying problems may include any of the following: An addiction by a family member to drugs, alcohol, relationships, work, food, sex, or gambling. The existence of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.
Codependency Quiz: Are You Codependent?
The presence of a family member suffering from a chronic mental or physical illness. Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist.
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As a result, family members learn to repress emotions and disregard their own needs. The identity and emotional development of the members of a dysfunctional family are often inhibited Attention and energy focus on the family member who is ill or addicted. The co-dependent person typically sacrifices his or her needs to take care of a person who is sick.