Passive aggressive codependent relationship quiz

How Passive-Aggressive Behavior Wrecks Relationships

passive aggressive codependent relationship quiz

Passive aggressive men are easy to love but, their love comes with a huge price tag. You will pay big time for falling in love with him!. Here are ten common traits passive-aggressive people exhibit in relationships, with excerpts from my book (click on title): "How to Successfully. Unfortunately, this type of behaviour can eat away at, and ultimately destroy, a relationship. It is said that passive aggression is learned in.

But what is passive aggressive behavior and how do you recognize passive aggressive men? He says one thing but means another. Sure, he wants to go to a movie. What better way to punish than withholding something he knows you want?

He will do anything to keep from arguing with you.

passive aggressive codependent relationship quiz

He has been taught that anger is unacceptable. Well, expressing anger in an open, honest way is unacceptable and is not something you will get from this guy. A passive aggressive man will always choose to avoid conflict because he has come to experience conflict or disagreement as terrifying. For this reason, the retreat from those they love because of their fear that something will go wrong or they will be rejected. In other words, they forfeit a relationship they long for, out of fear and, basically cause their worst fear to come true.

Not only do they break your heart, they break their own heart by constantly giving up on relationships. He will not show for a dinner date but find it unreasonable that you are upset. It is, after all, his bosses fault for making him work late. You waiting on him gets his angries out at you. How does the passive aggressive benefit by playing the victim? He enjoys being noticed and validated in such a way. Being a victim is also a great excuse for not confronting difficult life issues…avoiding conflict, again.

If he is viewing himself as a victim he can remain passive and not be held responsible for his bad behavior. This enables him to shift responsibility for his own misery off onto you. As long as he is holding onto the victim role he puts himself in a low-risk, take no chances position. He is off the hook. He forgets birthdays, anniversaries, anything important to you will be forgotten by him.

I feel like I'm co-dependent on a passive aggressive and although we talked about this before and our marriage counselor suggested he go see an addiction specialist for a very bad past substance abuse yrs issue, he relunctly went one time and said he probably won't continue because it doesn't "apply" to him.

I can't waste my time worrying about him, I need to work on myself. It's very hard when we lose "the one" whatever the circumstances but you seem to be turning a corner and accept my best wishes to you in finding peace of mind and happiness for the future.

I also wish the same for your wife, not forgetting your son. Ebonny Gary 11 months ago Sheesh I am with you all. I was a Nationally Board Certified Therapist in '92, specializing in at-risk teens. My marriage of 7 years is coming to an end.

Is Passive Aggression Destroying Your Marriage? | PairedLife

They have accused me of being a narcissistic, passive aggressive person, and the slow build up has made me sick in several ways. Thank goodness for a strong set of friends in mental health and elsewhere and support from family. It made me physically ill. On top of her PTSD, she had post partum depression, and my testosterone flagged not unusualbut the combination of stressors and her blaming me left me unable to make love to her. That compounded her feelings obviouslybut I never stopped taking care of her and holding her through migraines, fibromyalgia, and anxiety.

It was the incompetent, unprofesisonal, and unethical therapist we saw I saw--paid for different therapists to get help who blamed me, thereby turning me into an adversary instead of the loving husband who was doing his best to support his wife through a long list of childhood and current stressors.

Now she's moved out 30 miles awayand is asking for a divorce after 7 mo. She admits that denial killed her mother and her father one ignored cancer, the other his heart diseasebut can't see it in the mirror. She is living in an apt. Her PA gets worse, as she shuts me down and refuses counseling.

I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. I've felt tremendous anxiety, depression, fear for our son and fear and sadness for her current pain, past pain, and awful anguish that is heading her way, but I'm at the point where my lawyer will need to address her unfair demands re. I was a very happy guy horses, music, dancingand her illness has crushed me. I've thrown myself into martial arts and stick to my diet and will be ready to date soon, but I predict I'll be grieving for my wife--the love of my life--for the rest of our days.

Please don't be too harsh on yourself.

How Passive-Aggressive Behavior Wrecks Relationships

Instead I hope you'll use that energy to uplift yourself and plan for a great future. Although it can be a scary prospect, being single is not the end of the world and I will you well. I believe he's been this way since childhood, I know he had issues with his Authoritarian Father, although now that his father is deceased, he claims to know of no problems. His behavior has destroyed our 28 year marriage and he has become a monster to me.

passive aggressive codependent relationship quiz

I questioned myself for years thinking I was the problem, as he told friends, and family how controlling I was, and I didn't let him make decisions. My husband has blamed me, punished me, belittled me and bullied me for years. I feel so stupid for trying to make it work for all these years.

We have had separate rooms for the past 7 years, no kindness or empathy, nothing, and he still wouldn't leave or ask for a divorce.

At almost 61, I will be single but I am looking forward to having peace in my life. I'll stick with my animals from now on. I am so sorry to learn of the situation you are faced with, particularly with regard to your son.

  • Is Passive Aggression Destroying Your Marriage?

I admire you for keeping up your efforts to communicate with him and one day I'm sure he will appreciate them too and hopefully come around. As painful as rejection is, don't give up.

He's young and later on he will be in a better position to review things more objectively and he will remember how you tried so hard to reach out to him. Dealing with passive aggression in marriage is very hard and one has to be careful not to become passive aggressive oneself.

It's a hard decision and you had the guts to leave rather than descend into the spiral and I wish you well for the future. I didn't realize much of what was wrong until about a year ago. I was self medicating with pot to deal with the unhappiness in my life and finally decided to give it up.

5 Reasons a Passive Aggressive Man’s Love Comes With a Big Price Tag

My head cleared, and I began to discuss my problems with friends and realized I wasn't the one in wrong all the time as my wife had led me to believe. I got the silent treatment far too often. When I asked what was wrong got "nothing" then after days of sulking and me begging her, she would finally tell me what I had "done wrong. She would often call me names, weak, disappointment, etc. She would show me love and affection, then turn around and be cold.

Far more often than not she rebuked my attempts at sexual intimacy always saying "it's not you. When I finally left her a little over a month ago, she has turned our son against me even though she claims not to speak to him about me. He won't speak to me. She speaks kindly to me one day then the next is spiteful.

passive aggressive codependent relationship quiz

She has lied to me to hurt me. She lashes out when when she's not just outright cold. I was enabling her for too long and let her nearly destroy my sense of self. I am not in the process of beginning a divorce. It is very difficult in trying to reconnect with my son. She claims he is a mama's boy with no small amount of pride. I could deal with the issues with her quite easily if it were not for my son. I love him and miss him and try to reach out multiple times a day.

I won't give up, but it's hard. However, I still know that I did the right thing, especially when reading articles like this. AUTHOR 2 years ago from UK Hello witblitz1 Thank you for sharing your experiences, the steps you have taken to try to change things, your reflections and your decision to move on. Yes, indeed it is impossible to make anyone change their behaviour. Whilst I am sorry to know what a difficult time you have endured for all these years, I am heartened to note that you are thinking carefully about the emotional welfare of your children as you embark on the next phase of your lives.

I sincerely wish you all the best.

5 Reasons a Passive Aggressive Man’s Love Comes With a Big Price Tag

Her behavior started literally from the day after we were married. All affection stopped and she rapidly became less and less interested in any form of intimacy, never connected with me on an emotional level, would never speak to me about anything, and would manage to screw up even the most menial tasks, despite having an incomplete PHD, and gone to college on a scholarship.

At first I could simply not understand her behavior, and whenever I confronted her on it she would shift the blame to me with by saying "you want me to be perfect" or "everything is always my fault" which drove me insane as I don't think its unreasonable for a husband to want his wife to hug him, kiss him, touch him and want to have sex with him, much less talk to him.

No matter how many times I tried to get her to open up I was always met with silence, sulking, lack of affection of any kind, eye rolling, she wouldn't even make eye contact with me, and displayed total apathy. I couldn't understand her lack of interest in dealing with her behavior, and was met with more excuses and denial, so my response was anger and frustration.

We have 2 preteen kids, and she barely shows them any affection either, this was most heartbreaking especially when my daughter would ask me why mommy doesn't ever play with her.

As time went on and her inexplicable behavior persisted, I went from being a happy friendly guy always easy to laugh, to always feeling stressed and being angry. At one point a few years ago I was at my wits end, because I had no answers for her bizzare behavior and emotional detatchment from me and the kids, I didn't understand what the problem was and my wife refused to speak to me about anything in any detail.

When I would tell her how I was feeling she would say "I don't know what you want me to say" or "that's not true" so I started speaking about it to a psychologist friend of mine. My friend said to me "your wife sounds like an extreme passive aggressive" at which point I informed her that I didn't know what that was.

She recommended a good book to me called "The angry smile". I also began to google passive aggressive behavior and it was like the heavens opened up and imparted the wisdom of the gods on me. The more I read these sites the more it seemed like they were describing my wife to a tee.