How To Establish A Modern Male Led Relationship - The Head of Household
Take definition: You can use take followed by a noun to talk about an action or event, when it would also | Meaning In the first sentence, took suggests that Anna left the speaker when she went to school. In the to receive or accept into a relationship with oneself . to get into one's hand or hold; transfer to oneself. b. A form of hypertraditional monogamous relationship in which the man and woman agree that the man's word is final. A code word Top definition You know the penalty!" Get a taken in hand mug for your girlfriend Jovana. Take definition is - to get into one's hands or into one's possession, power, or control: such as. 3a: to catch or attack through the effect of a sudden force or influence taken . e: to accept in a usually professional relationship —often used with on .. grasp is used for taking something in the hand and keeping it there firmly.
The thought of the man being in charge — or God forbid, spanking her — will likely be foreign and off-putting to her. This will instantly emasculate the man if he allows it to happen. The modern gentleman needs to address this risk, ensuring he has documented evidence of consent. Simply put, you need to be ready to be the best she has ever had.
Do not underestimate this. If you are not the best she has ever had, the relationship will eventually fail. As hard as it is to write this, you need to ask yourself whether you are truly ready to spank your women. When you take over responsibility to discipline a women, you take on responsibility for her mental and physical wellbeing.
You need to be able to take care of yourself before you put yourself in a position where you are taking care of another person. In generations past it would have simply been expected than a man discipline his wife. Once you are regularly giving her the best, most dominant sex of her life, her submissive emotional inner-core will be exposed and ripe for re-programming. Your verbal commands should not come as a complete shock to her, but rather as a continuation of a theme you are building on.
If you mix up these commands with other sexual, dirty talk, she will not know where fantasy and reality begins and ends. In parallel with continuous sexual domination and verbal re-programming, you also need to commence the intellectualisation and rationalisation phase. Note that during the sexual domination phase it is critical to have an especially plump and powerful cock.
Just as the current generation of women lack traditional femininity, the average modern man is also weak and foolish. Given this cultural zietgeist, it is essential that your women is able to intellectualise and rationalise her new role — as this will be a major life change for her.
Assist her on this journey, by explaining and discussing in depth with her the relevant facts. Expound upon these general premises with sound intellectual reason: You have more physical strength, and you have the authority to put her over your knee. That means you don't need to brawl. If you tell your wife that you will not tolerate cursing, and that she will be spanked for this, then you need to control your own cursing. If you tell her you will spank her for leaving her clothes on the floor, then be sure to pick up your own clothes.
A double standard will seem unfair, and it will also make her feel as if you are just grasping for rules without really caring about them. Sometimes there will be exceptions: Just like a child will say to a parent "How come you get ice-cream before dinner and I don't?
I heard you swear. Why is it you can swear but I get spanked?
How To Establish A Modern Male Led Relationship
I'm the guy with the paddle, and you're the girl with the bottom. Do I need to demonstrate? Be willing to say "Because I said so. Be willing to say, "Look, I've made my decision. You agreed to accept my authority, and I intend to hold you to it. I'm not a perfect guy, and this isn't a perfect world.
He just wasn't up to it. Don't delay discipline any longer than is absolutely necessary. If you think she should be spanked for a sarcastic remark, it is infinitely more effective if you take her by the arm, and lead her to the bathroom, the bedroom, the garage, and administer the swats right then. When you wait, she feels like she's not important enough to be worked into the schedule.
Also, delay dilutes the emotional impact of discipline. You may find that you are not as annoyed, and she may not be as defiant. Maybe in the intervening time she has had a hard day, or done something particularly sweet that makes it seem not right to spank her somehow. This is why it's best to deal with these things as soon as you possibly can. Also, if you have a habit of waiting until bedtime, then she might well be too tired to really benefit, and she might also get the message that you really intend this as sexual foreplay, rather than real discipline.
Sometimes, what is most effective for me is if my husband gives me a few good swats right at the moment, and then another, longer harder spanking at bedtime. Sometimes for a woman, crying during or after a spanking is very powerful emotionally.
She's letting down barriers. It doesn't mean anything is wrong. It doesn't mean you're a terrible bad man and you've injured her. At the same time, you shouldn't try to get her to cry from the pain of the spanking itself.
A lot of women have an enormous amount of control, and can bear excruciating pain without tears. So don't judge the harshness of the spanking by tears alone. I never used to cry, but now I find that I cry pretty easily. For me personally, to climb on my husband's lap after a hard spanking, and cuddle against his chest, weeping softly as he rocks me and strokes my hair, has an intense emotional impact unlike any other.
Be prepared to be tested. Sometimes men are confused when a woman asks them to set limits, and then the woman ignores those limits. Understand, she is not looking for a set of rules because she's too stupid to know what should and shouldn't be done.
She's not wanting to be the meek little wife. She's wanting to feel your authority. She wants to push against a wall and feel its rock-solid strength. She wants to know that you really truly mean what you say, and you're prepared to back it up.
And sometimes, to be perfectly honest, she wants you to toss her over your knee and spank her hard. When you understand this, then you won't be surprised when she misbehaves. It is important that you be firm when she tests you.
Don't think that this means things aren't working. This is perfectly normal. Be prepared to change tactics when spanking really isn't working.
Sometimes, no matter how often you spank her for a particular behavior, she'll keep doing it. That's when you need to re-evaluate, and figure out what's going on. Is she doing the behavior because she needs to be spanked? Is it just too hard for her to change? If it is a behavior you seriously want ended, and spanking isn't working, then I would suggest you have a serious talk with her. Say, "I've spanked you for this repeatedly, and I'm not seeing any change.
But if the behavior occurs again, then you will be forced to use a non-spanking sanction.
Take | Definition of Take by Merriam-Webster
For example, if the behavior is staying on the computer too long, you might be forced to disconnect the modem. If she knows that is the next step, then in all likelihood she will make the change you need. Plus, she probably will feel bad for pushing you so far. Learn how to set effective rules. Sometimes when man learns that his wife wants him to exercise authority over her, they both try to come up with a set of rules. This tends to result in rules that feel artificial or more annoying than beneficial.
Don't feel as if you need a list of rules right away. When you do make a rule, make it something you really care about, and are prepared to enforce. A good rule of thumb is that if it is something you have asked her to do, or not to do three times, then it's an appropriate subject for a rule. Some rules my husband has for me are: I'm not allowed to leave my things on his desk. I'm not allowed to set things, especially drinks, on his car. I'm not allowed to use his nice books as a coaster. I need to be in bed within about ten minutes of when he turns in.
These are things he cares about. If I break one of these rules I can expect a pretty hard spanking as a result. If you make rules that you don't really care about, or just for the sake of having some rules, then your wife will feel as if you are condescending to her.
You are pretending to take charge just to make her happy, but it isn't real.
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I think it's much better to have fewer rules, but very genuine ones, than to have a whole list of stuff nobody really cares about. There's nothing wrong with that. But don't get the idea that just because your wife has let you know she wants to be spanked sometimes, this means she wants all these other things. For me, and I think for many women, they just like the emotional security of the simple over the knee spanking, the kind where they can say, "No please, stop," and the husband proceeds to spank them anyway.
The other stuff is more for kinky sex Don't forget spanking basics. When you spank, don't forget that a bottom that hasn't been spanked in several days will be far more tender and bruise more easily than one that has received regular attention. She will be able to endure a much longer, harder spanking if you start out slow, preferably with your hand. Changing implements from say, a belt, to a brush, and back to the hand will help her to tolerate a more severe spanking.
Take a break if need be, and send her to the corner for a few minutes before going on. Try to spank both sides of her bottom equally. Avoid hitting the fragile tail bone with anything hard like a wooden brush. The very lowest part of her bottom and upper thighs are highly sensitive, and should only be spanked in extreme circumstances.
Don't forget the "Lecture. If its just because you feel like it, that's okay, but say so. If it's because she made sarcastic remarks at dinner, then don't forget to tell her that. She wants to feel contrite and humble, but she can't unless she knows what to be contrite about.
She also wants to feel that you are emotionally there with her. She needs to hear you talk about why you are angry, or disappointed. The lecture combined with the spanking gives her the emotional catharsis she needs.
One without the other is like pancakes without the syrup, or biscuits without the butter. Use Maintenance Spankings if need be. Often we see posts from husbands and wives who say, "we want Domestic Discipline. She wants that strong dominant man who will take charge, and throw her over his lap on occasion. But the trouble is, she's such a perfect angel that for the life of them they can't come up with any good excuse. Well, this has never been a problem in my house. My husband could come up with good solid reasons to blister me silly twenty times a day if he were up to it.
But for those of you with well-behaved wives, you might consider having a regular time when you give her a spanking "just because. I wanted to publish the above essay just as it was written. I don't agree with all of it, and that's part of what I like. I find different views of the roles of a HoH interesting from varying positions. And A Domestic Discipline Society is well known for presenting interesting thoughts and opinions from all different points of view.
At the time this is being published here on ADDS, the writer is anonymous. What seems clear from the above writer is it is written by a TiH who is female and at the time they wrote this, they were in the process of learning.
The writer seems to have begun to figure out what she likes and what works for her. In an effort to support your research, when you're reading the "Focus" break-down below, refer to your notes.
Do you see things in a similar way or differently?