How to Be in Control in a Relationship: 12 Tips for You - EnkiRelations
If only my relationship could work, I would be so happy, that's the put our happiness and power in other people's hands or in the control of. If you are wondering how to be in control in a relationship, there are ways to help you get what you deserve. Take care in how you speak about yourself, how you handle power and how you view your character. This will all be echoed back by your partner. 9 Which US State Should You Really Live In? Take Our Quiz!. For more "how to control a woman" tactics using covert persuasion, click on this link: dayline.info ▽▽▽ CONTINUE BY.
His response was to get quiet and sulk for the rest of the day, even after his wife apologized. Both people in this interaction were reacting to something real in the present, but they were also unintentionally triggering old feelings in each other. His giving her directions ignited feelings she had experienced in her past with a controlling, critical mother. We often experience our lives through a filter of our own histories, insecurities, worries, expectations, or inner critic.
It can leave us feeling easily criticized or slighted by specific things — thinking someone is angry with us, for example. We put our own spin, interpretation, or projection onto the world around us. Therefore, we often react irrationally.
Couples, in particular, have a tendency to act in this way. Of course, our partner will sometimes say and do things that upset us.
When we act out or take the low road in responding, we usually just feel bad.
How to Be in Control in a Relationship
We turn against ourselves and the other person. And we rarely get what we want. Essentially, we are back in our past, reacting with intensity that has nothing to do with the present. And though we can never control another person, when we change our reaction, we make it much more likely to shift the dynamic, soften the other person, and keep the interaction between two adults in their lives today.
For example, returning to the couple who got into an argument while driving, the woman was determined to take a different approach the next time they had a potentially heated interaction. You should be thanking me, not telling me what I did wrong! Instead of being at odds all night, the two of them were able to feel closer and more like themselves, even while addressing a mutual source of stress.
We can all take control of our responses and be the type of partner we want to be. We can shift the dynamic by changing our half of the interaction. Here are some principles we can adopt to achieve this outcome: Take a pause to decide how you want to react.
We often find that after a fight we have the perspective we needed before things escalated, so try finding quiet before entering a storm.
Take Control of Who You Are in Your Relationship - PsychAlive
If we feel really emotionally shaken up by another person, we should do what we can to calm down before we react. Take a few slow breaths before responding or try a moment of meditation.
Anything we can do to help us feel less stirred up is a smart choice in these moments. Think about the big picture. We should always try to keep our eye on the end-goal.
It may feel really good to try to win the battle of an argument, but not if we lose the war. Keeping both the image of who we want to be and our goals for the relationship in the forefront of our mind can help.
If you are struggling with confidence, try to remember what is most important to you and that you are valuable and deserving. Then, exude this in your relationship to help gain a bit of control.
If you want to be taken more seriously by your partner and gain a bit more control, then make sure to follow through with your words. Your partner will feel the difference and respect you more if you act consistent with your comments. Also, you want to make sure to follow through and act when you are having a conflict with your partner.
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If you say there will be certain repercussions, then make sure you stick to your guns. It works the same for keeping promises; make sure to be honest and do what you say.
In relationships, respect is critical, so show your partner you respect yourself. Take care in how you speak about yourself, how you handle power and how you view your character. This will all be echoed back by your partner. By taking the non-violent, silent approach, you will catch your partner off guard, which may help shift the power balance. This will also help you gain some control that you may have lost.
It shows that you are in control of your behavior and choices and that you take it seriously. Show them that you love yourself, that you can complete yourself without them, and that your relationship adds to the fabulous life you already have.How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship - You'll Be Surprised
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